I'm getting to a point where I am not seeing the point in doing anything creative in the hopes that I inspire someone. Maybe I am going at it all wrong... & I don't think I am, but as a song writer, I would like to hope he or she has fans / a listening audience. I personally hardly see anything from others in the ways of "getting totally giddy" about my creative side. Maybe my music does suck, but i've heard music by friends of mine & they make terrible music & they have more fans. No one seems to go out of their way to hear my latest recording. I do my best & share enthusiasm about others work such as friends of mine whom write, record, draw & paint & its all like good in the moment & at the same time you try to be nice even when what they made is horrific & at the same time some are beyond amazing!
I just don't get it... I know my music is not what a lot of people want to hear. Its the kind of stuff that takes an acquired taste. My newest album recordings are more contemporary then ever & its most likely going to take a while to catch on... even for 30mins in some teenagers attention span... & that 30mins might be 30 years from now... these recordings of mine just seem like... its all just dust in the wind. Even the music that is offered for free download, is having a hard time getting heared. The internets content search is exspanding everyday & for one person to come across my silly album is mostly due to random chance. No one is searching for the word Eshniner. Eshniner is not even a real word in any language.
So pretty much I'm writing music for my walls to hear.